Needs Reevaluation Part 3+1

Shoutout to Rebuild of Evangelion, with the last movie coming up in 2020 (2 years’ wait!)

Okay, pruning’s done.

Technically I still haven’t readjusted my schedule (with procrastination, health and work ruining my pace) but I did some pruning, which would be a big deal in what I will be doing, and hopefully make for a better hobby / work life balance (and really doing something!!!)

The biggest thing that I removed was game development; Since I want to focus on my art skills (or lack of some) and programming skills not related to gamedev, it proved to be a blocking distraction and developed in me a false sense which led to procrastination (I can’t do this before doing this, etc.). It was holding me back, since I wanted something “fun” to learn while programming, and was “trying” to combine my hobby and programming skill development.

At the end of the day, I could combine them, but probably for the best not this time, maybe not even the next year. Because:

  1. I want to focus on 2d/3d art skills as a hobby,
  2. Improving programming skills do not need to be in the context of gamedev (and arguably, best to not be with gamedev first),
  3. I need to learn to focus on one at a time, so I can have separate time schedules for hobby and work to maximize learning pace, and
  4. I technically have no idea for a game this time (it’s more like I want to play games, but well that is another matter haha…)

I’ll probably have further updates on what will happen, but this is the best way to make of it (since I am also frustrated in a way my mind works, being distracted and not able to start anything, always analysis paralysis). Removing gamedev was hard at first, but thinking of plans for the past weeks shows this is the best strategy.

Needs Reevaluation Part 3

So, after some planning, I still think and realized that I still want to do too much with the given time span and schedule.

There is a big issue within me about maybe liking to do all things at once. 

And end up doing nothing at all (overwhelmed!!!)…

Maybe there will be a Part 4 (haha) but now what really needs is not ADDING and PLANNING…

…but PRUNING.

Better to let go some things even if it is hard, to make something more realistic.

Needs Reevaluation Part 2

Okay….

After posting that last article (a long time ago) and saying that I will do something, and end up doing nothing…

Typical me. 😉

Anyway, again a half year has passed. Being distracted by real life and some urgent matters (a.k.a. Fallout New Vegas) at the start of the year didn’t do any favors on my blogging plans, though I don’t really regret playing New Vegas by the way.

I haven’t really finished the whole game; I made the mistake of finishing all the DLC first and those were one of the best stories a video game has to offer and made the default campaign a slog to finish that I uninstalled the game for another day.

But now I want to focus on my plans to make the story that I want. We had a recent seminar on time management and it was rather amusing in that it didn’t focus on managing time per se, but more on managing oneself. It had awakened a guilty conscience within me that I was basically wasting time in not taking action, in fact delaying the story since there is really no urgency for anything. The wrong thing that I might have concluded then is that this is a lifetime thing; hence believing that yes, forever can wait.

There are 3 new realizations before I would “restart” again:

  1. This is primarily a hobby and not a “life or death” situation; treating it previously so have only hampered my desire to do it due to my unfounded fears and anxiety,
  2. I might not become rich of famous from this but THAT IS GONNA BE FINE
  3. BE SURE YOU REALLY WANT TO DO THIS

Ok, about the 3rd line, there is a small stumbling block that I might have to pass through to overall restart, and that is to really, evaluate what I do really want to do: a story in a GAME, MOVIE or NOVEL format.

I have an idea but that is a post for another day.

ALSO, from now I’ll be updating this blog constantly, documenting most of my day and probably random topics again, but later be more focused on certain topics.

Needs Reevaluation

I haven’t touched my blog in the longest time. After my last post that need to step up for the latter half of the year, then nothing happens.

There needs to have more than a step up, but rather a thorough examination and reevaluation of my plans / habits / desires / goals in life.

I’ll probably come back to this blog sooner than usual, but before that there needs to have a massive cleanup of actual things to do in my life and remove the crap / cruft.